Ross and I have been dancing to this together for the past few days around the house.



( Lyrics under here )

Tonight Ross brought me home a brand new spanky Nikon D60 DSLR out of the blue! I have been humming and harrring over this for so long and now I finally have one in my grubby mitts.

Expect an obscene amount of photo whoring this weekend as I get to grips with the beast.

My boyfriend+++

I have just been reminded of this masterpiece that facet and I used to adore, straight from the King of Fucking Fruitcake.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr Adam Ant...

10 days to BIRTHDAY and DUBLIN!

I can't believe how quickly this year is moving. It's true what they say, time flies when you're having fun :D

2009 is already far better than 2008.

I woke up this morning with a huge smile on my face that just isn't shifting.

Thank you baby. I love you.

I have not laughed so much in ages. This man is everything that is wrong with the scene, right down to the terrible generic haircut and the scrawy pigeon chest you just know he insists on getting out at every available opportunity. He is probably the kind of man who wears Dane.

Also, and I know this is the least of his worries, but if you're going to shoot videos of your gimpy self having some kind of fit in your front room, at least fucking tidy up first.

Your faith was strong but you needed proof, you saw her bathing on the roof, her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you.

She tied you to a kitchen chair, she broke your throne, she cut your hair, and from your lips she drew the Hallelujah.

Remember when I moved in you; the holy dark was moving too, and every breath we drew was Hallelujah.

He won, thank fuck. Maybe there is some hope left for the Colonies.

Can we has Bush Bonfire now kplzthnx? :D

We're having a DJ session at work this afternoon and I swear the music that teenage chavs play has literally not changed a single bit in the last 15 years. They are next door spinning the same happy hardcore tunes that my brother used to mix with in 93/94. And no, I don't mean that all hardcore sounds the same, I mean the exact same tunes that I remember from back in the day. I am waiting with baited breath for the GGM to make an appearance.

One of the lads is M.C'ing and isn't actually terrible. I have not heard one instance of "gannin doon" rhymed with "bottle of broon" or "to the toon" as of yet. Although they do have it turned up so loud my noticeboard has fallen off the wall and I can't hear my phone ring.

CHIPMONKING LIVES ON!



[edit] Dear Lord, it's Alice Cooper at 78 RPM! This is so god awful it's actually quite fantastic. I have an overwhelming urge to buy a dummy and a pair of white gloves.

I got the Safeguarding Team job. I'm so fucking excited it's unbelievable.

It's G's birthday today. He is 24 and not a day older, honest Gov. I think a MASSIVE celebration is called for. Roll on tomorrow night.

All is good in Daniland. Very good.

Me and the Wife drove up to the Cat and Dog Shelter yesterday which was a very BAD IDEA. Nic and Raj went to look at puppies, while I made the huge mistake of wandering around the cattery. Of course I wanted to take every single one of them home with me, but there was one specific Tom who I would actually swear is a littermate of Claudia. His card said he was born in shelter (it's the same place we got her from) and had been homed but returned. He was identical to her in every way, size, markings, face shape, behaviour, the full whack. It was painful to drag myself away from his cage when we had to leave.

God I am such a sucker for Miaows.

Of course I had to cheer myself up with Sushi and Shloer. *hic*

I appear to have just spuffed rather a lot of money at Plastik Wrap. Still, it was something I have been after for a while now, and since they discontinue designs at the drop of a hat, I thought it prudent not to wait.

Sounds convincing, no?

Meme time! Under each header pick the one thing you love but know you shouldn't.

Culinary: Chinese Takeaways. Specifically Cantonese chicken or pork.

Literary: Terrible pseudo-porny "fantasy" stuff like Laurell k Hamilton or Anne Rice. You know what I mean, it's all fangs and fucking.

Audiovisual: Housey crap. Location Location Location, Grand Desigs, House Doctor, DIY SOS, anything at all like that. Mostly I just like to see what hideous taste other people have.

Musical: Really cheesy jump-up drum and bass. The kind of crap Aphrodite churns out with alarming regularity. Clown Step I believe G calls it, as it's laughably dire. I love the hoover baby! Also, Meatloaf. But I am not remotely guilty about that.

Celebrity: Britney. She is a trailer trash through and through, and I'd still hit it till it broke.

Financial: Taxi's. I probably spend about a ton a month on cabs.

Personal: Make Up. I have a collection that could possibly match the national debt of a small third world country.

Artistic: Magritte. I am not a fan of Surrealism at all and he is massively overhyped and wouldn't know subtlety if it hit him with a brick, but I still find myself liking his works.

Don't ever forget how good Faithless are again.

Ross and I watched Starship Troopers 3 last night and it was awesome. No, I am not joking. It's a film that works on so many levels, it's easy to turn your brain off and enjoy the ASPLOSIONS AND GIANT BUGS, or you can actually think about what you're seeing and then the social critique is quite evident. The postmodern take on advertising and propaganda was genius, as were the not-so-subtle digs against religion and government. Seemingly Ed Neumeier has only ever done the ST series and Robocop, which is a shame if you ask me as more Sci-Fi could do with the slightly camp retro-futurist anti-utopian treatment he is obviously fond of.

The Mise-en-scène is outstanding too, not only are the uniforms and sets sexy as all hell, but the design used on the scene segues is just magnificent, straight out of a technoprogressive wet dream. Also, without spoilering the entire film, the final sequence will have most transhumanists licking the TV in glee.

Since I have some spare cash at the moment I have been trawling the usual depths of the internet for something pretty to buy myself and I am left wondering when "cyber" became a synonym for "tacky hideous crap". When I originally got into this scene *cough-eight-cough* years ago there are a multitude of designers and clothing manufacturers making sleek, futuristic utilitarian gear that I coveted with every fibre of my being. Jesus, even Cyberdog used to make the occasional stunning item back then, instead of the cheap shit they churn out these days.

I miss Agent Cobalt, Insect Royalty, Yungfuktoi (though I have to admit her new Mother of London stuff makes me weep with joy) and all the other designers who actually made original, well cut and well made stylish clobber. I am sick to my fucking back teeth of funfur bootcovers and fishnet tutus. Even Lip Service, which was always good for at least a couple of collections a year mixed in with all the terribly gothy flouncy shit or the streetwalker PVC has failed to interest me with anything at all this season.

I know I am fussy, I know I am exacting, hell I pride myself on it. But surely there have got to be other people out there who want what I want?

Strangely what I have noticed is that the style for men seems to have shifted more towards my preference and away from the uber-camp skinny tee cyberboy look which I reckon makes every bloke look like a giant bummer whether they happen to love the cock or not. So why has girls fashion moved in the opposite direction? It makes me very sad indeedy.

In short, what I mean is: FUCK OFF WITH ALL THE PINK TAT.

I guess I will keep my money. For now.

As some of you eagle eyes will have no doubt gathered, I have renamed. Purely on a whim this morning, I just felt my old username wasn't really reflective of me anymore, and it has been mine for a decade of internet twattery now.

So this is the new name. Same girl, same shit, different moniker. I might get bored of it in a few weeks and swap again, who knows?

I've got fucking sunburn. In Barnsley. This has got to be a joke. I went outside for a tab and now my shoulders are an exceptionally attractive shade of lobster pink and itchy as all hell. No wonder I make such a great dirty goffik if this is what happens after 7 minutes in direct sunlight.

We saw Indiana Jones last night. The movie was fairly forgettable, but the night itself was awesome and one I will always remember. Since Ross and I got together under fairly bizarre circumstances, we never really got a proper courtship period, but we did the full nine yards of coupledom yesterday. I can't remember the last time I had a summer evening walk, and canoodled in the back row, I honestly felt like a teenager again.

Moving down here has been a very strange experience for me, I left a lot behind in Newcastle, but Ross has made it all worthwhile. Coming home from work every day to our house, knowing that he won't be far behind me walking through the door is an exceptional feeling. My future may not be as set in stone as it once was, but I know whatever road we decide to go down we'll be walking it together, and for once in my life, that doesn't terrify me.

/sickening